Those Aren't Pants

Megan Fox finishes up her busy day of having everything other than thumb appearance work out in her favor while wearing a slathering of cloth that she refers to as workout pants. Dear readers: do not be fooled - those are not pants. The last time she wore pants was sometime around the first instance of Brian Austin Green unironically wearing a Parker Lewis Can’t Lose shirt.

Note: For those of you who might be a little too young for a Parker Lewis reference, let’s just say it was a long, long time ago.
This is the girl the Internet will not bang. Megan Fox isn’t wearing pants and is waiting for it in a grassy savannah, but because she has stub thumbs and three stanzas of poetry tats, half the users on World of Warcraft would rather slay dragons.
Megan Fox likes pants about as much as Michael Bay likes Megan Fox.

If you feel the same way, you may want to buy these leggings.
Megan Fox is so dedicated to her man that she’ll drop everything and run, without pants, whenever he calls asking her to bring him his Fleshlight.